The Triplanetary Corporation Statism Offset™
KoPubCo Forgives Your Transgressions… for a price
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The Triplanetary Corporation is the innovator and leader in offering Statism Offsets to the public at large. What is a Statism Offset™? Just as easy to
explain as a carbon offset, so here goes:
Here at KoPubCo,
we understand that we all live in the real world and know how difficult it is to
lead a totally counter-economic lifestyle. You still have to drive on government roads in a government-registered car while carrying your government-issued
license (unless you want to be repeatedly detained by government agents
demanding that you “show us your papers”). Some even feel the need to vote as a defensive act.
KoPubCo won’t guilt you for your actions (well, not much, anyway). If you feel any twinges of libertarian disquiet for such activities (as well you should, anarcho-slacker!), don’t be sad — be glad! Statism Offsets allow you to assuage that guilt (or, as Ludwig von Mises says, “relieve felt unease”) by buying an indulgence funding the spread of Liberty throughout the world. And — of course! — you'll receive a beautiful Statism Offset Certificate™ suitable for framing or for presenting to the Anarcho-Purity Enforcement Cadre on demand!
The offsets are transferable, so if you’re concerned that there are others who are interacting unavoidably with statists, you may certainly purchase offsets for them!
Standard Statism Offset™: For only $9.95, KoPubCo will offset one act of inadvertent statism, such as reflexively saying “If you don’t vote, you can’t complain,” or thinking “If Geena Davis and Sigourney Weaver merged ova and had a love child, she’d look a lot like that sexy Governor Gretchen Whitmer.” In other words, any utterance or thought that afterward makes your agorist soul shudder in disgust is reason enough to buy a Statism Offset™.
Silver-Level Statism Offset™: For a mere $19.95, KoPubCo will offset one year of unavoidable statist acts (driving on public roads, paying sales or property taxes) by printing a copy of the classic New Libertarian Manifesto and sending it to a libertarian book reviewer or a non-government library.
Gold-Level Statism Offset™: For only $99.95, KoPubCo will offset one act of overt, voluntary statism such as voting (per election) or calling the cops (per call), by printing a hardcover copy of An Agorist Primer and sending it to a libertarian book reviewer or a non-government library.
Platinum-Level Statism Offset™: For $1,999.95, KoPubCo will offset one year of continuing statist activity (serving on a Grand Jury, working for a government contractor) by conducting research to write & complete one unfinished chapter of Samuel Edward Konkin III’s incomplete classic, Counter-Economics.
Uranium-Level Statism Offset™: For $19,999.95, KoPubCo will offset an entire lifetime of otherwise-unforgivable, rank, outright-inexcusable
statism (such as holding political office at any level) by bringing to publication a complete, up-to-date, hardcover edition of Samuel Edward Konkin III’s brilliant-but-incomplete magnum opus, Counter-Economics. Research and writing will be accomplished by three-time Prometheus Award winner, Victor Koman, PhD. Dr. Koman was Konkin’s friend, ally, and publisher, and is eminently qualified both to perform the scholarly research and to write the remainder of Counter-Economics in the style and substance of SEK3 himself.
